The past few months have so been chaotic. I felt like getting pulled from every direction, dealing with so many different things all at once. For a while, it seemed like the world was moving 10x faster than usual and I had to exhaust every single atom in me to keep up. Like a hamster on a wheel trapped in a never-ending loop.

It’s scary to find yourself in situations like these—getting too caught up in the “busyness” of life, dragging yourself from place to place, hustling until you’re left with an empty cup.

On top of all of that, I also felt the least like myself this whole year. Maybe because I was trying so hard to project my “best self” and pretend I had it all figured out. I seemed to have forgotten every single tool and lesson I’ve learned in grounding and self-regulation, and just allowed the world to eat me alive.

I’m not exactly sure how I ended up here, but I thankfully found a small window of rest that revealed the horror of the last few months. I still find it so interesting how even just a short and intentional moment to ourselves can make the biggest impact in the way we think and see life.

What’s so different about this breakthrough was that I was paying more attention to my body. My defense mechanism has always been to stay in my head and to think so cognitively about everything—even things that give me the tiniest feeling of distress. I’ve been going to therapy for years but it’s always been a struggle to break that cycle of rumination and overthinking.

In that quiet little moment of self-reflection, I thought it would be helpful for me to notice my breathing and return to my body. I remembered that the only way out of my discomfort is to attune to my body from head to toe.

I’m not in the position to talk about the scientific reasons why experts always correlate the body with the mind, but I’ve personally experienced massive breakthroughs by simply tuning into the sensations in my body when I feel strong and consuming emotions.

On a more practical note, just like in meditation, I learned about the body scan where you find which parts feel the most tension. After noticing those parts, sit with whatever uncomfortable emotion is there, and with your breath, feel it for what it is. For me, in just that short moment where I get to pause, I instantly feel relief.

This is really such an amazing mental health tool to have and my main intention for this entry is to actually share that with anyone who needs it. It has personally made a dramatic impact in my current season, and honestly, my entire life.

Whenever I catch myself escaping reality and getting lost in my ridiculous expectations, I find that taking a pause and listening to my body has given me the best reality checks—that I’m again forcing control and allowing the world to consume me.

Funnily, while we’re on the topic, I’ve also been trying to take care of my body more! Maybe it’s also because my boyfriend is currently in his gym rat era and has been so consistent with his workouts that I’m also getting inspired to prioritize my physical health.

I noticed that he became so much more positive, enthusiastic, and energized and it’s quite infectious. I’m still trying to find a workout routine that works for me, but I’m looking forward to feeling so much more stable and healthy when I finally do.

My point is—everything correlates. God created us with every single part intertwined and it’s our responsibility to understand and take better care of ourselves. Maybe it’s time to take a more holistic approach—mind, body, and spirit—in order to feel our best and most authentic.

Maybe it’s only when we attune to our bodies that we can find stability and acceptance. The world will keep revolving and time will keep running, but the better choice is to stay grounded, to stay present, and to ride the ebb of flow instead of going against it.

Thanks for making it this far. I hope you can eventually use some of the tools I shared for self-regulation, return to your body, and somehow find stability in the disarray and chaos that life can bring. ❤

P.S. A book that is so close to my heart and could better explain a lot of the things I shared here is The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel van der Kolk. It was written in the lens of trauma but still a very interesting and insightful read.